The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey. Habit 5

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We are in the fifth Week with Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, yeay! I hope you enjoy these posts as much as I enjoy writing and sharing them.

Today’s habit is, wait for it …

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Habit 5 : Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

This habit can be difficult to implement, because of our natural tendency of wanting to be approved, loved and accepted. We want people to understand us, we justify ourselves, we explain, give all the details because we want the other person to Believe us, to understand our situation and grant us what we are asking.

It reminds me of a story which is told in the Bible, there was this man who owed his master some money. He begged for his master to give him more time to give the money back, which was granted to him. But then, the man went out and met one of his debtors (he owed him much less than what the man owed his master), and brutally asked for his money back, I Don’t remember if he even went as far as physically abusing his debtor. He was happy that his master had been understanding with him, but couldn’t do the same with his fellow debtor.

This shows that, we need to treat the others as we want to be treated, if we want to be respected, we need to respect, if we want to be loved, we need to love, if we want to be understood, we need to understand first.

What about you, do you find it easy to understand first and then to be understood ? I want to hear from you.

Let’s take care of ourselves.

See you soon !




13 commentaires Ajouter un commentaire

  1. Listening is the first step to being heard.

    Aimé par 1 personne

    1. Monaminga dit :

      Exactly, what kind of a listener are you ?

      Aimé par 1 personne

      1. I try to be an active listener, although sometimes I’m not. It’s a work in progress though.

        Aimé par 1 personne

      2. Monaminga dit :

        Would be nice if you could share with us your tips for being an active listener 🙂

        Aimé par 1 personne

      3. I guess just take an interest in what is being said. Take an interest in their point of view. A collaboration possibly. I am genuinely interested in the thought patterns and decision making process of others. I love to learn and I am wholly interested in hearing from others. Not just hearing but understanding how they got to where they are. I think the more you listen and ask questions, the easier the decision making process gets for me. Everyone has their own views and experiences and opinions on practically every matter. They’ve already done the research and they have already experienced the result.

        Their lessons are often the learning that I hold dear. Lessons learned and I don’t have to constantly reinvent the wheel per say.

        Aimé par 1 personne

      4. Monaminga dit :

        It sounds Wise to me.
        It’s challenging to just listen in order to really get what the person is saying. I often notice that people (including myself) are eager to share their own experience, to give their opinion and Don’t Always fully understand what the other is saying because the didn’t give them the necessary time to express their whole idea. It needs practice and skill. You are in advance it seems.

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      5. Have you ever listened to toddlers talking to one another? It seems to me they talk to just talk. They don’t acknowledge what the other says. So ultimately they say what they want and move on from there. Communication doesn’t happen when more than one person is speaking at a time.

        If one talks about Minecraft while the other talks about legos, nothing is being exchanged there. Hence, nothing will be gained.

        I think this happens with adults as well. You may be exited to talk about your experiences, yet if you constantly talk, how can you expect to hear anything except your own voice.

        I have heard that God gave us two eyes, two ears and one mouth. Maybe he was telling us something. Have we heard what the lesson is?

        Aimé par 1 personne

  2. Sadje dit :

    Thanks for sharing these useful tips.

    Aimé par 1 personne

    1. Monaminga dit :

      You’re welcome Sadje, so, so far which habit have you found easy to implement ?

      Aimé par 1 personne

  3. Habit 5 is definitely a great point! It’s almost second nature for us to always want to be heard, seen, understood, etc. but pulling back a bit to understand and hear others is just as important.

    Aimé par 1 personne

    1. Monaminga dit :

      Exactly. How are you doing in that matter ?

      Aimé par 1 personne

  4. Oli Ondo dit :

    I think this habit teach us to listen, understand and then share your point of view but we don’t often do that as we’re eager to be understood first which always create misunderstanding or issues between people. Love it

    Aimé par 1 personne

    1. Monaminga dit :

      I agree with you. We are often more eager to be understood and listened too. A lot of energy is spoilt in reacting according to what we think the other wanted to say, when we could save a lot more by listening until the end. Thanks for your comment 🙂



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